Eating healthy on the road is not easy.  

I honestly haven't even tried.  We've stopped at Cracker Barrel, at Arby's, at Denny's.  They have good, healthy food but I just haven't worried about it.  I'm feeling kind of meh about the whole thing.  

I have found a snack that I really like.  It's called Siggi's and it's Icelandic yogurt.  It has the same consistency as Greek yogurt but it's not as tart.  The vanilla is my favorite.  And it's only got 100 calories per container and fills me up pretty well.  So that's a start at least.  

Hopefully when I get back home from this road trip I can start concentrating on eating better.  

I haven't posted to this in almost a year.  I've been lazy, not going to lie.  I haven't been watching my calories and I haven't been exercising.  I had to go back to Pizza Hut full time because things happened that made it so that I lost the job at Einstein.  Because of this, I am unable to go on the trip that I had been planning for two years.  On top of that, my daughter was accepted to and got a scholarship for a boarding school in LA and is required to be there the same weekend as Dragon Con so that means I won't be able to go to Dragon Con until 2018 at the absolute earliest.  That gives me plenty of time to save up, right?

I noticed recently that I've gotten back up to a size 14.  This is all because I stopped trying.  I stopped working out and I stopped eating right and I haven't really cared about what happens to me.  This is a BAD place to be in, no doubt.  I know what I need to do and I still haven't done it.

I left 24 Hour Fitness.  They were charging me $40 a month for a membership that I wasn't really using because it was all the way on the other side of town and very inconvenient to get to.  I changed to a gym that is literally right across the street from where I work and it's only $10 a month.  And yet I still haven't used it.  This time it's all an excuse.  It's convenient, it's easy to get to.  All I have to do is either wake up early so I can work out before work or head over after work.  I have not been doing this.  Laziness has set in as well as apathy.  All of this because I no longer have a specific goal to work toward.

I know that all of that needs to change and yet I am doing nothing to change it.  I keep coming up with excuses.  I need to stop doing that.

Having two jobs makes it really hard for me to keep up with this blog.  And yes, I know that's an excuse.  I keep making them.


The problem I am having now is that I have to be up early enough for my first job that I have to eat breakfast before I go to work.  Then I have to eat a meal between jobs.  Then if I'm lucky I can have lunch while I'm at Pizza Hut.  (note the "if I'm lucky" part of that.) and then I have dinner and I usually end up having a snack before I go to bed.

I'm trying to keep it healthy but with my teeth in their current condition, that's really hard.

I got some very good advice from a wonderful comedian named Chris Bonno who sent my friend and me to this website.  giveforward.com

https://www.giveforward.com/fundraiser/sm23/getting-becca-a-nice-new-smile

It deals exclusively in medical expenses and is anonymous so you don't have to sign up for an account to give money.  Every penny helps and would be greatly appreciated.  Thank you.

Excuses, Excuses, Excuses, and Addiction.

So there I was saying I would post every day and then I didn't post.  In my defense, I had to work from 6am - 5pm and then had to be in bed in time to be up at 230am on Saturday for my shift at Einstein.  And then I had craft day after I got off work and didn't get home until after 6pm and then had to be in bed for my 3am shift at Einstein today.  But those are all just excuses, which I seem to make a lot of lately.

I make excuses for everything.  I can't go running because it's too hot.  Then when it cools down I can't go running because I worked all day.  And so forth and so on.  All just excuses.  I can't go to the gym because it's too much hassel or I don't have the time, when I know I do.  I have to eat that chocolate cake because I had a really bad day and I need it.  I make excuses and I am trying to stop but stopping is hard when you've been doing it all your life.  Which, by the way, is another excuse.


Now on to addiction.  I know for a fact that I was addicted to soda.  How do I know this, you ask?  Because I am still craving soda.  I could open up a Coke and chug it right now.  It has been

485 days or
41,904,000 seconds or
698,400 minutes or
11,640 hours or
69 weeks (rounded down)

Since the last time I had a soda and I still feel the way I did the day after I stopped drinking it.  I was told that after the first six months or so, it's easy and you don't crave it anymore.  But I still do.  I so still do.  And it doesn't help that I am surrounded by soda every where I go.  At Einstein we're allowed a free drink but only a fountain soda.  So I have to pay full price for a glass of orange juice ($2.79) or a bottle of water ($1.50) since I don't drink soda.  At Pizza Hut we sell both 2 Liters and 20oz bottles of soda.  I see it every day.  It's frustrating as hell.  And I just want to grab one of the two liter bottles and chug it like my life depends on it.  But I don't.  I happily drink from my bottle of water and move on.  Soda is no longer part of my life but it is an addiction for which I can not remove the triggers.  An alcoholic can stop going to bars and liquor stores.  A drug addict can stop hanging out with other drug addicts.  Me?  Soda is such a part of this every day culture that there's no way to avoid it.  It's a had fight but it is one that I am continuing every day.  And I will not break.  I've gone too long to give up now.

I just realized that I haven't posted to this blog since March.  I am so horrible.  The whole point of this blog was to encourage myself to stay on my diet and work through it, and also to maybe encourage some others.  And I just dropped off the radar.  I apologize for that.  I really do.

So I am making a promise to start updating this more often.  My fight with weight has gotten harder recently because I stopped being able to afford Taekwondo.  I stopped running, which is bad, I know.  And I started a second job which means less time for exercise and more time for not eating right as it is at Einstein Brothers Bagels and the food is SOOOOO good.  Fortunately there are a lot more healthy choices there than there are at Pizza Hut.

I went and saw a dentist today, trying to get my teeth fixed.  It's really hard to eat healthy when you can't eat a lot of the food because it hurts your teeth.  My low self image had me not taking care of myself at all so most of my teeth are in horrible condition to the point that the dentist just wants to yank them all and give me full dentures.  It's that bad.  Here are the main problems.

A: I don't have a whole lot of money, even with two jobs.

B:  I don't have any dental insurance and neither job offers it

C: It's going to cost me $12,792 to pull my teeth and make the dentures.

So that's what it all comes down to.  I am broke and I need a lot of money to do this one thing to make my life better.  I have added a donate button to this website and to my other blog mypersonalgeekdom.  I went to fundly and got an account started so that maybe some nice people on the internet can help me get at least the down payment put together so that I can get my teeth fixed.  Any help at all would be greatly appreciated.

Hopefully see you guys tomorrow with a new blog.  I am definitely going to make this an every day thing now, no matter what.  And I apologize for leaving it in the dust all those months ago.

So once again I've been a bad blogger.  It's been a month since I last posted and I feel bad about that.

I found out today that I really should stay away from cheese.  I'm not going to gross you out with any details, just going to say that I have my proof.  And cheese is one of my most favorite things ever so that's hard for me to admit.

I've been craving a lot of kiwi and a lot of shrimp.  I looked them up.  Shrimp has a lot of selenium which helps with thyroid function and that has to do with the metabolism.  The kiwi has a lot of potassium in it which helps the muscles.  So I figure it has something to do with the extra working out that I've been doing.

Though the weather hasn't helped my running much.  I have improved my fastest time from a 10 min 38 sec mile to a 9 min 3 sec mile, but I haven't been getting to do much running.  It's been too cold, even though spring was supposed to have started already.

I think the worst part of all of this, though, is that even though I am actually in a size 12, I look down and I see a size 20 body still.  I'm at my target size more than a year ahead of schedule, but I still feel fat and disgusting.  And I don't know what to do to change that.  Though having a gut that still sticks out further than my boobs doesn't help but I'm not 100% certain how to get rid of that without doing a whole lot of sit ups.

I have a year to figure it out though.  

@Jeffrey_Donovan and Brownies

This isn't just about Jeffrey Donovan, who you might better know as Michael Westen on USA's Burn Notice.  This is also about Archie Kao from CSI.  And it's about the brownies that I made today.


Let's start with the brownies.  I got the recipe from my agave nectar cook book.  It's pretty cool.  They have kind of a dark chocolate taste to them, which I love, and they ended up somewhere between cakey and fudgie which I also love.  It's awesome.

It's a really great recipe, very easy to put together and I highly recommend it.  

And now let's get to the men.  Let's start with Archie.  He's adorable.  He is one of the reasons I like watching CSI.  He's done a lot more than CSI, of course.  He was the Blue Galaxy Power Ranger.  Hey!  I only know that because of his imdb.com page.  But anyway, he's really cute and he's a good actor and I like him.  

And now it's time for Jeffrey Donovan.  My first exposure to him, that I realized, was on Burn Notice.  I've realized since then that I have seen him in a lot of different things and just didn't realize that I had.  He's a talented actor and a good looking man.  Especially when he smiles.  That genuine smile just lights up his whole face.  It's adorable.  

I have to say, in Changeling in 2008, he looked amazing.  He really fits into those 20's era suits, with his hair all slicked down like they used to wear it back then.  Just....yummy.  

He's not everybody's cup of tea, but he's certainly mine.  Just saying.