Okay, so this is the first official post of The Fat Plan. We wanted to go with 2 Fat Girls but it was taken already.

Cally and I started our dieting back in May of this year. She started a week before I did, but she talked me into it. Because of my job, I don't really get a chance to eat lunch and I was drinking soda to make up for it. The carbonated water kept me feeling full and the calories kept me going. The problem is, I was going through about a gallon of soda a day. Then I would top it off at night with about half a gallon of sweet tea. With that, and the way I was eating, I was consuming about 5000 calories a day and I was not burning off that much. I was 220 pounds, at least. Maybe 225. On May 10, 2012 I had my last soda and sweet tea. I drink water, gator ade, and unsweet tea now. I started taking home made protein smoothies to work with me so that I can drink them in the car if necessary. I'm still having a problem with the way I eat at home, but I'll get into that another time.

Right now, we're going to talk about self image. Since May, I've only lost 20lbs but I've lost 6 inches. I had to buy men's pants because I can't find women's cargo pants that I can actually wear to work and I need cargo pants for work. I have gone from a 40 to a 34. My mom keeps talking about how skinny I've gotten. The thing is, I don't feel like I've gotten skinny. I only went from a 18 to a 16 in women's jeans. I still feel fat.

This is a picture of me in my Halloween costume. This picture was taken three or four days ago. This is my current physique. My mom tells me that I look skinny. Cally tells me that I look skinny. I don't feel skinny.

This is what I feel like I look like. I see myself in that picture and this is what I see. I look in the mirror and this is what I see. Even putting on the smaller sized clothes, I feel like I'm still fat and gross. This is what I'm having to deal with on a daily basis. I've spent so much time hating myself that I don't know how to do anything else. I keep telling myself that I'm awesome and pretty but it doesn't sink in. I keep seeing the person that I've hated all my life. When even your siblings call you fat and ugly, it's hard to think anything else.





That is why I am doing this. Because I am tired of looking at myself and hating what I see. I'm tired of wishing I was someone else. And I'm tired of thinking that no man will ever want to be with me. I want to finally feel good about myself.